The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
This book has raving reviews — it was a New York Times bestseller for over a decade and scored a 4.8 out of 5 on Amazon with over 48 thousand ratings. Yet I struggle to understand why.
For context, Ruiz is a descendant of the ancient Toltec civilisation, hence the distinctively New Age language, which most people love or hate. If you’re unfamiliar with the New Age Movement, it explores a lot of “self-transcendence” based on an eclectic range of beliefs like astrology, psychics, tarot and magic. I’ve tried to remain open-minded, giving theories the benefit of the doubt where science has not. I’m not a spiritual person nor a big fan of the tone, but understanding that it comes from the voice of an indigenous surgeon-turned-shaman helped with tuning out what seemed repetitive and outlandish at times.
The most disturbing thing about the agreements was that they were presented with a dogmatic demeanour and copious generalities. Something like “if one thinks they’re likely to get cancer, they will within a short period.” I’m sorry, what? I’m not excusing that the mental state can induce a domino effect on physical health, but with little explanation given, this just seems to be reaching too far.
The appeal of the agreements was built entirely upon simplicity and the fact that they demand little effort, which is unrealistic and reductive at best. I don’t deny the morsels of wisdom embedded in common sense, though many thinkers have articulated similar ideals with much greater detail and insight. If you have qualms, I suggest reading The Dark Side of The Four Agreements by Bobi Wood and Revisiting the Four Agreements: Maybe You Should Take It Personally by Hélène Belaunde. They shed light on why it’s better not to take the first two arguments at face value.
Frankly, the inside cover says it all. There’s not much to be gleaned beyond what you can find on Google; the rest is common sense. Many have found peace and guidance within its pages, but I didn’t find the same feelings. Luckily, the book was heavily discounted, so I didn’t feel ripped off.
Key summary (taken from the inside cover):
1. Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity; only say what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Instead, use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. Don’t take anything personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their reality and dreams. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. Don’t make assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you want. Communicate with others as clearly as possible to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.
4. Always do your best
Your best will change from moment to moment, but doing your best will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
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