Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir

 
 

Hands down my favourite memoir (and one of my favourite books) that makes me keel over in laughter, feels like a warm hug from a sister, and lingered in my thoughts long after. It’s a book I recommend to any girlfriend who listens.

The memoir chronicles Alderton’s journey through her early twenties and thirties as she navigates relationships, heartbreaks, hangovers, and everything in between. It follows her through a string of mundane jobs, nights out drinking with friends, and awkward sexual encounters (is this sounding all too familiar?) Yet beneath the surface revelries lie deeper cravings for intimacy, purpose and stability. She throws herself headfirst into romantic relationships, seeking validation and meaning (which often ends in disaster), and reckless fun gradually gives way to emptiness and restlessness. By the end, she emerges older and seemingly wiser, finally surrendering to true adult independence’s unexpected beauty and messiness.

“It was overblown, needless intensity, not a close connection with another person. Intensity and intimacy. How could I have got them so mixed up?”

Modern millennials may be a generation often criticised for career instability and delayed marriages, but Alderton remarkably celebrates their autonomy while acknowledging the anxieties it can breed. Dating, heartbreak, and self-discovery have long been universal themes; at its core, the book taps into basic human desires for companionship, growth and acceptance, yearnings that transcend generational differences.

Alderton also has a gift for capturing the absurdities and harsh truths of modern dating in all its bewildering complexity. From drunken makeouts to heart-to-hearts over hangover fryups, she recounts her life’s absurdities with wit, honesty, and self-deprecating humour. A balance of levity and depth that, unlike many gravity-focused relationship memoirs, doesn’t sugarcoat or over-philosophise experiences; the messy bits of life are just unvarnished and, well, messy.

I loved her flair for writing – I remember finishing the book and thinking, “Wow. I wished I could write as sassy and candid as that.” Maybe it’s how her vibrant protagonists felt more like real friends than characters on the page because I felt invested in her personal growth and hard-won wisdom by the end. Uncomfortable truths and embarrassing blunders aren’t shameful; they’re inherent to our vulnerability, and nobody comes out of growth unscathed anyway because it only happens through stumbles, not a carefully curated image.

If you lose respect for someone, you won’t be able to fall back in love with them.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, as some would say), I’ve had a relatively tame love life, and my share of failed relationships wasn’t even that bad. But this is a hilarious yet poignant coming-of-age story that will resonate with anyone who has ever longed for fulfilment and stumbled through love. Humour is Alderton's way of saying, "We’ve all been there – let's laugh it off and keep moving forward together." And I think that’s a bloody therapeutic and reasonable approach to deal with this world we live in.

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Carmen Ho

Carmen started the blog as a place to encourage slow travel by storytelling her travel experiences. When she’s not at her desk, she divides her time between exploring the city she calls home and planning her next outing.

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Just As I Am: A Memoir